Slice Survivor Gifts

Common golf Problems: 'Worst slice I have ever seen!'

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

Two lemons enjoying some reading time together in their 'Home Sour Home'.

Today's Rapunzel

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

'We'd like one pizza cut into eleven pieces.'

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

"I don't think I could fit another slice in...oh, hold on."

'You'd better cut it into six pieces I don't think I could eat eight!'

"Is this the queue for Funworld?"

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

'Don't use that arm... for a day or two!'

The menu said this soup is recommended for mature diners, and is rated "AFS." What does that stand for? "Adult fly situations."

'It's commendable that you only ate one slice of pizza, but when you're only cutting it in half...'

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

'I would like to find at least ONE bar that isn't a meat market.'

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

This place says they have the biggest pizza slice in town...

"Relax, eventually the scar will disappear!"

Those who play with cats must expect to be scratched.

Laundromat has a bin for trash & one for unmatched socks

Never give up! Unless it's really h.....

Mindfulness meditation vs. Mindfulness scrolling.

"I only kill the messenger if PowerPoint is involved."

'I like to think of myself as Tiger Woods' greatest nightmare - although I'd don't know why he'd ever dream about me.'

"So that must be the guy from Tech Support."

Kenwood Park

'Free oven glove with every curry, sir.'

"We'll slice through this area here, then divide it into sections."