Scroll Survivor Gifts

Mindfulness meditation vs. Mindfulness scrolling.

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Nice, but as long as there are readers there will be scrolls."

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

Dieting Motivation.

Romans.

Emergency Pants

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

95 Theses That Will Blow Your Mind!

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'What luck!'

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

Abandon all hope of Wifi ye who enter here

"Remote teaching isn't good for torturing a substitute. For that you need a live audience."

Welcome centre

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

"It's not a first edition, but it's from Moses' workshop."

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

"Is this the queue for Funworld?"

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

I know it's not on the yoga dvd but a spider crawled up my sleeve

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

Women castaways are joined on the island by ugly men.

Deflating Island

This Spring's Girl will be a warrior type, a survivor.

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."

"Well, my pension was tied up in the cruise liner industry."