Bill Survivor Gifts

'I'm switching to another provider,dear.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Desert Island BBQ

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."

'And in conclusion.'

That's not the reaction I was going for. Let me try to put a different spin on it.

Emergency Pants

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

'He needs professional HELP!'

Frank was famous for his anti-inflammatory rhetoric.

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

'What luck!'

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

Abandon all hope of Wifi ye who enter here

"Is this the queue for Funworld?"

Bored Meeting

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

Welcome centre

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

"Well, my pension was tied up in the cruise liner industry."

"It's from, The Environmental Protection Agency. They're fining us for polluting the ocean with messages in plastic bottles!"

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."