Store Survivor Gifts

"I'd like $50 worth of total silence, please."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

Waiting for Pants

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

Office Weather

Getting through the week.

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

Twisted Peel works overtime.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

Exhausted employee

"I am totally ready for this presentation."

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

"I hate when she drags herself to work. Am I supposed to feel guilty?"

"I'm putting you in charge of this project because you're already miserable."

"You've seen Grace under pressure. Here's Grace after the pressure is off."

"Leadership is all about making sacrifices and you are OURS!"

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

Jenkins here has been with the firm the longest,