Supermarket Survivalist Gifts

'We both know that you didn't catch that in the wild, sweety. Now put the fish in the cart, and go grab us some of that really soft toilet paper.'

Till malfunction

Supermarket trolley crash

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

Only One Item or Fewer.

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

'I hear they're letting you go. Your family must have paid the ransom.'

Anti stress week: For God sake don't miss it!!

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

Artificial Isle

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

'This doesn't look good.'

'The stuff legends are made of'

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

Women shopping with children in the trolley.

'I've got one of those wobbly forwards trolleys!'

You know retail is in a bad way when...

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

Supermarket 'Men, temporary lobotomy patch'

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

Super express lane for working mothers only!

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

Beached Whales

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

Wild fruit