Punctuation Punter Pillows

A Semicolon.

Man kicking an exclamation mark.

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

'The Questioner'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

Dating an English Major

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"I've just invented the question mark."

Ironing Punctuation

Job Interview Gone Bad.

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'I can't take all the credit... I used spell-check.'

Punctuation Karaoke Night

"Well, this might explain all of the recent punctuation errors."

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

Author Reading Today: 'Typos I missed when correcting proofs.'

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

Man kicking Exclamation Mark.

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"