Pun-loving Punter Pillows

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Do it yourself books.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Bitter End

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'You give me goose bumps!'

The static electric eel is very rare.

'I can't help you, it seems you really are npsycuts!'

'I wanted to go straight. . . but then I learned a law degree.'

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

Weather forecast

'What he lacks in speed he gains in nose.'

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'