Punctuation Pillows

"Who teaches apostrophe usage?"

"The apostrophe goes before the s..."

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

Use apostrophes. Dont use apostrophes

"I hate it when my English teacher works on his car."

'You've got a vulgar accent.'

While the court battle was ongoing over who owned the trademark to the exclamation point neither party was allowed to use one.

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

A'sk me about my problem with apo'strophe's.

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The Questioner'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Dating an English Major

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"I've just invented the question mark."

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Job Interview Gone Bad.

Ironing Punctuation

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'I can't take all the credit... I used spell-check.'

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

Punctuation Karaoke Night

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."