Punctuality Punster Pillows

'Sorry I'm late for my interview. There was a leaf on my driveway.'

"I though Adams was supposed to be a jogger? He's late for work and he isn't jogging!"

"No, I took my coffee break before coming in."

Wordilly Durdillies - Jerry made it dead on time

'You're fired Jenkins! You're just not getting in early enough!'

"Of course, 'today seems to be dragging more than usual'. You came in on time, for once!"

"I'm fine-tuning my time management skills, so I might not be showing up anymore."

Late BroomStick

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"You keep impeccable time."

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Note Book

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

Time Clock

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

Low self esteem workshop - 'You missed it. It finished two hours ago, you useless pillock.'

Your talk of promptness seems to have worked - everybody was out of here by one minute after five.

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

Efficiency Expert: Back at 3:17:03

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

'It's come to my attention that you're becoming a bit of a clock watcher.'

'I think therefore I ham.'

"How about fashionably never?"

"Sorry! Traffic was awful and also I left really late."

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

Internal Clocks.

'Anyone can get to school on time if he tries hard enough, Eddie.'

Husband concerned about being late whilst wife has plastic surgery.

"Finally! I got all my deliveries done on time! I also put all the oil cans on the oil can shelves! And I actually put batteries in the battery display!"

It was another quiet day for Johnson.

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

"Behold the geometry of pizza: square, circle and triangle."

'My broker swears it's a great investment but I fear it's just another pyramid scheme.'