Procrastination Punster Pillows

'Come our from under the bed. He had the wrong address.'

It was another quiet day for Johnson.

'When are you going to get a 'TO DO' box?'

"Baldo, why aren't you doing your homework?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

Dogs life

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

'We're under a lot of time-pressure here, so we'll need to jump to conclusions.'

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

In and Out Box

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

Psychologist Birthdays

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

'It's too early to start being good for Christmas. I always wait until at least the Thanksgiving left-overs are all gone.'

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

"Can you give me some sort of metaphor for how you're feeling?"

Claude

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

"Hmmmm. I'll bluff. Then they'll counter-bluff, so if I counter-counter-bluff...password should do it."

'I can't remember why I came here either.'

Psychiatry. Your disorientation is number 2248 in my psychiatry manual. You mean my daze is numbered?

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

"How long have you been suffering from anthropomorphism?"

Those four microwave dings you just heard indicate that dinner is ready, Lance. Hop to it! Unlike some individuals I know, I am not one of Pavlov's wolverines.

"I take it the tortoise wasn't available."

'Not now Susan - I'm busy.'

"I'm sorry - Mr Jensen is not in the office at this time."

Psychobabble.