Procrastination Punster Gifts

'Come our from under the bed. He had the wrong address.'

It was another quiet day for Johnson.

'When are you going to get a 'TO DO' box?'

"Baldo, why aren't you doing your homework?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

Dogs life

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

'We're under a lot of time-pressure here, so we'll need to jump to conclusions.'

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

In and Out Box

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

'It's too early to start being good for Christmas. I always wait until at least the Thanksgiving left-overs are all gone.'

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

"Can you give me some sort of metaphor for how you're feeling?"

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"Hmmmm. I'll bluff. Then they'll counter-bluff, so if I counter-counter-bluff...password should do it."

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

"I'm sorry - Mr Jensen is not in the office at this time."

"I take it the tortoise wasn't available."

'Not now Susan - I'm busy.'

"How long have you been suffering from anthropomorphism?"

'I can't remember why I came here either.'

Psychobabble.

Freud Met Santa...

"Of course, 'today seems to be dragging more than usual'. You came in on time, for once!"

Two particles outside Hadron Collider; 'Fancy getting smashed this evening?'

The Stand-up Petrophysicist...