Pun Collectors Gifts

'Frogs only! Violators will be toad!'

Pear Pressure

'Actually, I'm lost.'

"I haven't been feeling as jumpy since I stopped drinking coffee!"

I lost my parrot somewhere in the harbor. You were separated at berth?

"I suppose I could forget...for the right price!"

Nemo was best known for crowding the plate and keeping the batters guessing!

"I heard there's going to be an increase in minimum cage."

'I think he has a fever.'

Sex Line - "Not tonight dear - I've got earache."

Vampire batting with bats hanging off of bat.

Closing Laugh: Bingo

'Mince spy?'

'Well normally I'd say there's other fish in the sea but in this case you're screwed.'

"This boat is aptly named."

Long John Covid

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Talk nerdy to me."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

baby sweetcorn...

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

'Your French dip, sir.'

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."