Law Pun Collector Gifts

Lawsuit

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

Fist Bumper Cars

"Beanirrito"

Tequila Mockingbird

Pete would never forget the time he saw his very first nasal hare.

'I call it a flat.'

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

This man is an island.

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

'And in addition it seems that he has been eating some of the other children'.

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

'It's a snow mobile.'

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

The Bear Fax.

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

Racketeer

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

Bell Hop

Clinical psychology involves observation of patients in clinics and related settings. Forensic psychology takes place at crime scenes. Cognitive psychology uses mathematical models. It can happen at a computer. Ernie prefers to put his patients in the car and drive backwards. Which is? Reverse psychology.

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

Toast kidnapper.

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

Prawn Shop

Custer's Last Rollo

'That's not funny, Fred.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Butt cracker"

"It seems to me you may be experiencing some form of low-level depression."

"I must be getting old . . . I crossed over here, but now I can't remember why!"