Pun Collector Gifts

"Get all the second opinions you want, doctor, …. You'll still be a quart low."

Nurse, check if Mr Burgess paid for his last filling, or will I have to extract it from him.

Bear toilet.

Bad Flower Pick Up Lines

Toast kidnapper.

'Yes, we went into liquidation!'

"The only thing your tests show is that your genes don't fit you properly."

Birds on the Telephone Line

"Ugh - I always get so ervous when my work goes through pee'er review."

"I'm afraid you have only three minutes to live."

In Whydid, Wales.

In Whydid, Wales...I dunno. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to a chicken.

'I'm afraid that your wife is correct, Mr. Simkins - you ARE spineless!'

Elbow room.

No alcohol for me thanks: I'm a Water Buffalo...

'Slow down George, I don't like the way that idiot is weaving all over the road.' (A guy on the road weaving a basket).

"No thanks... I'm water resistant."

"From now on, don't let anyone twist your arm to drive at break-neck speed so you can get on stage and break a leg."

'Remember to always be sure of what you're aiming at.'

'Fine meat' sign hung over wrong shop

'Sir, how long did it take you to learn to drive?'

Prawn Shop

'I'm really low energy.'

'I've got me a terrible headache!'

Custer's Last PC!

'Miss, dogs have baby dogs, so why don't your planes have baby planes?'

"Last 'bi-polar bear' joke for 300km..."

'And in addition it seems that he has been eating some of the other children'.

Man with big furry mustache drives car with grill that looks like same.

Pope giving out his Music CD as communion wafer.

'Do you want French flies with that?'

'Leg it - we've left our prints all over the place!'

'The rule is that you should never eat more than you can lift, and you're not allowed to use a pulley.'

'Got any changing rooms to try this one on?'

Economic Dentist