Pun Collecting Gifts

Tequila Mockingbird

"To my hairs..."

'His rolls are out of this world.'

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

"We set the bar low here."

Underrated tweet

Velocirappers

Hair Raising

"Jenkins is on high visibility foot patrol today."

Shoe Tree

Ornithotics

"Beanirrito"

'Sorry it's cold. When you asked for hot pizza, I thought you meant stolen.'

'Sure hope this doesn't give me heartburn. . .'

'My career's in ruins. I'm an archaeologist.'

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

Come up and visit my web site sometime.

"Who's a pretty buoy, then?"

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Talk nerdy to me."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

baby sweetcorn...

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'Your French dip, sir.'