Pun Collecting Gifts

Tequila Mockingbird

"To my hairs..."

'His rolls are out of this world.'

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

"We set the bar low here."

Underrated tweet

"Did I hear you say there's a fly in your soup? Well, you're in luck. I'm a fly fisherman."

Velocirappers

Hair Raising

"Jenkins is on high visibility foot patrol today."

Shoe Tree

Ornithotics

"Beanirrito"

'Sorry it's cold. When you asked for hot pizza, I thought you meant stolen.'

'Sure hope this doesn't give me heartburn. . .'

'My career's in ruins. I'm an archaeologist.'

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

Come up and visit my web site sometime.

"Who's a pretty buoy, then?"

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

"Talk nerdy to me."

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."