Publisher Gifts

"This is definitely the last time for Chapter Seventeen!"

1907: An unfortunate mis-print ruins Baden-Powell's first book launch.

"I translate books from English into better English."

"Don't talk to me about suffering - in my spare time, I'm a writer."

"I'm talking so much about books I haven't read I feel like I'm back in publishing."

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

The First Writer and Editor: 'Take out that part?! Are you nuts? How is the stampede scene at the end of the cave going to make sense without it?!'

"I can't help thinking there's a book in this."

"We're still pretty far apart. I'm looking for a six-figure advance and they're refusing to read the manuscript."

"I have a lot of really good ideas, but I just can't get them down on paper."

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

I must find out how to control the rights when it comes out on parchment.'

In Trays titled: 'In', 'Out' and 'Back in Again'.

"I like it - it's wonderfully editable."

"The editor who turned down the first Harry Potter book, say hello to the publisher who took a pass on Stephen King."

Outline; Introduction, Body, Conclusion.

'The publisher wants to know how the article on the booming economy is coming along.'

'Oh yes we're very proud of him. He's in publishing you know!'

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

'I figured if you liked the first paragraph I'd go ahead and finish the book.'

"Great news! Your novel is in a medium-size pile in the middle of the floor about four feet from the left side of Oprah's assistant's desk."

'Well, we'll out-recycle them. We'll use paper made from vegetable products, and soy based ink, so after reading the magazine it could then be boiled,mashed and eaten.'

'Can you redo this manuscript, John, and make it less stupid?'

What Editors Do

Jonah's editor.

Editor vs Writer.

'Your content is protected by copyright laws and a complete lack of interest.'

'Can you give me one good reason why you never use hyphens?'

"I'm sorry-you tapped into something no one cares about."

Also by the Author...

Man on Desert Island reads about himself.

New from Low-Key Press.

"We need a better distribution system."

'The good news is, you write what you know. Unfortunately, you don't know much.'

Book publishing.