Publisher Pillows

"This is definitely the last time for Chapter Seventeen!"

1907: An unfortunate mis-print ruins Baden-Powell's first book launch.

"I translate books from English into better English."

Collected works

"Don't talk to me about suffering - in my spare time, I'm a writer."

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

"I'm talking so much about books I haven't read I feel like I'm back in publishing."

The First Writer and Editor: 'Take out that part?! Are you nuts? How is the stampede scene at the end of the cave going to make sense without it?!'

"I can't help thinking there's a book in this."

"We're still pretty far apart. I'm looking for a six-figure advance and they're refusing to read the manuscript."

"I have a lot of really good ideas, but I just can't get them down on paper."

I must find out how to control the rights when it comes out on parchment.'

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

'That's not an accident. I left out chapter 7 and 11 on purpose.'

In Trays titled: 'In', 'Out' and 'Back in Again'.

'The publisher wants to know how the article on the booming economy is coming along.'

'Please keep in mind this is only a 'ruff' copy.'

Outline; Introduction, Body, Conclusion.

"The editor who turned down the first Harry Potter book, say hello to the publisher who took a pass on Stephen King."

"I like it - it's wonderfully editable."

'Oh yes we're very proud of him. He's in publishing you know!'

Gutenberg invents the paper jam.

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

'I figured if you liked the first paragraph I'd go ahead and finish the book.'

Jonah's editor.

"Great news! Your novel is in a medium-size pile in the middle of the floor about four feet from the left side of Oprah's assistant's desk."

'Can you redo this manuscript, John, and make it less stupid?'

What Editors Do

'Well, we'll out-recycle them. We'll use paper made from vegetable products, and soy based ink, so after reading the magazine it could then be boiled,mashed and eaten.'

Editor vs Writer.

'Your content is protected by copyright laws and a complete lack of interest.'

'Can you give me one good reason why you never use hyphens?'

"I'm sorry-you tapped into something no one cares about."

Man on Desert Island reads about himself.

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