Public Sale Humorist Gifts

Auction Rooms 'Gone to lunch' sign.

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

"Today, the yen shot up on news it is spelled differently from the 'Yuan'."

A building covered in signs reading 'boats'.

'Today stocks dropped on news that the only thing to fear is everything.'

Palm Reading

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Seven deadly sins store

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

"Ooh, this one sounds interesting, 'Single, vegetarian, bulbous, with moves like a lava lamp'."

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

'In today's stocks... small caps rose on news big company stocks fell...'

"Did you say 'plummet', Mr. Casey? We don't use that word around here. We say 'downtick'."

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

Super and Super Duper Vitamins.

"If I keep predicting a market crash, eventually I'll have to be right!"

"If you want something firmer, I suggest you try our flooring department."

'He certainly knows how to make a customer feel welcome.'

Holds leftovers, easy to carry... Gotta say, he almost had me. Right up to th 'Keeps food fresh' part. What a waste of a good idea.

'That perfume you're wearing smells funny. I love it!'

Little Brother for Sale: 'I don't care what he did!'

“Ever thought of changing your name?”

'An advert would be better... I don't come over well on TV!'

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

F&E Cafeteria. All you can stomach $12.99. "All you can eat" would sound more appetizing.

'Unexpected item in bagging area.'

A sign outside a house reads "For sale"; the house next door also has a sign that reads "Me too".

Service With A Smile.