Pta Warrior Gifts

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

"He's gonna be bad for business."

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

Call Center.

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

Organic farm

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

"Why do I always get stuck with being the guardian angel to someone who can't seem to finish his Ph.D.?"

"Look at it this way -- in three years your roof could leak."

'The good news is that I managed to install the wind turbine...'

Shuffle Zone. Please shuffle and create static electricity to power our city.

The Nine Circles of Heaven

'Hello, Mrs. Horton? Could you please stop by school this afternoon?'

"How come they call these tax returns when I never get any money returned?"

"Well, you've fianlly done it! No more rainforest left!"

'Stupid global warming!'

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

"Hahaha! What's wrong Dorky Nerdmire? That's your name isn't it?"

"I buried my doctoral thesis in an unmarked grave. . . because, ultimately, you never know."

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

"I've reduced our carbon footprint and replaced all our bulbs with energy efficient low wattage ones."

"Dad, Dad, the termites have found our food stash!"

"My day? Don't even get me started!"

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

"Do you realize that the only change we have had, in this school, is in our school telephone number?"

'How's the school board meeting going?'