Pta Warrior Pillows

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

"He's gonna be bad for business."

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

Call Center.

'Sanders, our numbers on google are slipping, let's pump up the keywords.'

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

Organic farm

'The good news is that I managed to install the wind turbine...'

Seriously? Boom! Pow, pow, pow!

"Look at it this way -- in three years your roof could leak."

"Why do I always get stuck with being the guardian angel to someone who can't seem to finish his Ph.D.?"

Shuffle Zone. Please shuffle and create static electricity to power our city.

'Hello, Mrs. Horton? Could you please stop by school this afternoon?'

The Nine Circles of Heaven

"How come they call these tax returns when I never get any money returned?"

"Well, you've fianlly done it! No more rainforest left!"

'Stupid global warming!'

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

"I've reduced our carbon footprint and replaced all our bulbs with energy efficient low wattage ones."

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

"My day? Don't even get me started!"

"Dad, Dad, the termites have found our food stash!"

"Hahaha! What's wrong Dorky Nerdmire? That's your name isn't it?"

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

"I buried my doctoral thesis in an unmarked grave. . . because, ultimately, you never know."

"Do you realize that the only change we have had, in this school, is in our school telephone number?"

'How's the school board meeting going?'