It Warrior Pillows

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

'I'd like to lease with an option to pulverize.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

37 years in the same position.

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

Five doors: Push, Pull, Up High, Down Low, Too Slow.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'