Psychic Healer Gifts

New Age Auto Repair

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

The Environmentalist

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Asking out a palm reader.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Quantum Psychic

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"You're solemates!"

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

New Age Store.

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

Channelling on the Cheap

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

Pie Filling Reader

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Advances in Third World Healthcare

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.