Psychic Healer Pillows

New Age Auto Repair

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

The Environmentalist

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Asking out a palm reader.

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Quantum Psychic

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"You're solemates!"

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

New Age Store.

Channelling on the Cheap

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Pie Filling Reader

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'