Pseudoscientist Gifts

"I'm attempting to transmute calcium oxide, copper gluconate, manganese sulfate, tyrosine and benzaldehyde into condensed soup."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

Dog phrenology

For the last time, Bobby, I told you – every other person gets the red cup with the placebo. Lemonade 50¢.

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"Trepanning for gold"

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"I totally meant to do that."

"No, first you have to evolve into a man, then you can have a man-cave."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

Science deniers Soc.

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

Documentation Please

Doing Something About the Weather

Gracie tries to invent a shrinking spray and squirts Baldo with it.

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

Today's Topic: "Intelligent Design." Do you believe in "intelligent design"? I did until I met you.