Pseudoscience Skeptic Gifts

'One of the great things about homeopathy is that because the remedies don't actually do anything there's no need to worry about nasty side effects.'

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Alternative Medicine

"God works in mysterious ways."

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

Dog phrenology

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

Celebrity Phrenologist.

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"Trepanning for gold"

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Science deniers Soc.

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

Documentation Please

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

"The drug has, however, proved more effective than traditional psychoanalysis."

'Our financial statement was delivered 'postage due'. Think that's a sign?'