Pseudoscience Fan Gifts

"Unfortunately this lab is funded only by as much gold as we can make from lead."

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

The Style of Elements

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

Dog phrenology

"Actually, not all roses are red. Sometimes they're white as well as numerous other colours. Also I think you'll find that violets are sort of purple..."

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

Frankenstein egg.

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

When it comes to health issues, I'd rather listen to a physician than a spin doctor.

'Max really likes those genetic markers.'

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

Probe? Don't be silly. Now, take a drink of this solution every 15 minutes until it's gone, and no food for 24 hours.

Just what is it that amoebas really want.

"Trepanning for gold"

'I'm afraid our worst suspicions have been confirmed - we found slug, snail and a trace amount of puppydog tail.'

"Kevin's sort of a negative person, while I tend to be positive, so we have an electrical connection."

"She introduces herself as Drosophila Melanogaster, but everyone knows she's just a common fruit fly."

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

"Don't forget to send selfies."

"I'm trying to cross a hen with a dog. . .For pooched eggs."

Storm chaser van with satellite dish and Storm in a teacup chaser van with cup & spoon.

Life in The Halfassic Age

"They harvest our noses then liquify them and drink the juice. They believe it gives them special powers called 'antioxidants'."

" - Well. . . at least we found the bigfoot. . ."

Spooky Chemistry.

"I used to think that hypnotherapy was a pseudo-science but Phil has convinced me otherwise."

"My discovery may not win a Nobel prize, Edmund. . . but the world can always use a better tasting toothpaste!"

"He has a little place in the basement where he's trying to transmute amethysts into antibiotics."

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

"Oh, now you tell me!"

"God, Renny, it's the ultimate disco effect!"