Pseudoscience Fan Gifts

"Unfortunately this lab is funded only by as much gold as we can make from lead."

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

The Style of Elements

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

Dog phrenology

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

"Actually, not all roses are red. Sometimes they're white as well as numerous other colours. Also I think you'll find that violets are sort of purple..."

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

Frankenstein egg.

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

Just what is it that amoebas really want.

"Trepanning for gold"

'I'm afraid our worst suspicions have been confirmed - we found slug, snail and a trace amount of puppydog tail.'

"She introduces herself as Drosophila Melanogaster, but everyone knows she's just a common fruit fly."

"Kevin's sort of a negative person, while I tend to be positive, so we have an electrical connection."

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

"I'm trying to cross a hen with a dog. . .For pooched eggs."

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

Storm chaser van with satellite dish and Storm in a teacup chaser van with cup & spoon.

Life in The Halfassic Age

" - Well. . . at least we found the bigfoot. . ."

"He has a little place in the basement where he's trying to transmute amethysts into antibiotics."

"My discovery may not win a Nobel prize, Edmund. . . but the world can always use a better tasting toothpaste!"

Spooky Chemistry.

"I used to think that hypnotherapy was a pseudo-science but Phil has convinced me otherwise."

"They harvest our noses then liquify them and drink the juice. They believe it gives them special powers called 'antioxidants'."

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

"Oh, now you tell me!"

"Oh, no! Is there a doctor in the mouse?"

"God, Renny, it's the ultimate disco effect!"