Pseudosciences Gifts

"I swear, since I started sleeping with that bar of soap under my pillow I haven't had nearly as many brain cramps."

The Style of Elements

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Alternative Medicine

Dog phrenology

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

For the last time, Bobby, I told you – every other person gets the red cup with the placebo. Lemonade 50¢.

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"All in all, I'd say it's a pretty convincing explication of chaos theory."

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"Trepanning for gold"

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

"I totally meant to do that."

"No, first you have to evolve into a man, then you can have a man-cave."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

Gracie tries to invent a shrinking spray and squirts Baldo with it.

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

Documentation Please

Science deniers Soc.

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

Today's Topic: "Intelligent Design." Do you believe in "intelligent design"? I did until I met you.

"The drug has, however, proved more effective than traditional psychoanalysis."

"Delusional scientific elitist..."