Pseudoscience Followers Gifts

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Alternative Medicine

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

Dog phrenology

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"Trepanning for gold"

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

Science deniers Soc.

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"