Pseudoscientist Pillows

"I'm attempting to transmute calcium oxide, copper gluconate, manganese sulfate, tyrosine and benzaldehyde into condensed soup."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

Alternative Medicine

Dog phrenology

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"Trepanning for gold"

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

Gracie tries to invent a shrinking spray and squirts Baldo with it.

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

Science deniers Soc.

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

Documentation Please

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."