Pruning Perfectionist T-Shirts

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

"It's called being preemptive."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Garden Art

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

"First time pruning?"

Bullseye!

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

Surreal ale

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'In,' 'Out' and 'Organize.'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Deadlines, Inc.

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

"I think deep down he's really pleased the union has a female head for the first time..."

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

Quality Contorl.

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

"It needs a lot of editing."

Job Security

Certificate for 98.4% accurasy.

Ventriloquist's fete

'Young lady, stop talking to your dad in such a disrespectful way! After all he's a man with degrees and can fill in his unemployment benefit application in five different languages!'

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."