Prune Perfectionist T-Shirts

Secateurs/Non-Secateurs.

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"First time pruning?"

Bullseye!

Surreal ale

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

"It's called being preemptive."

Quality Contorl.

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

Prune Eating Contest: Last Man Standing.

I would love to learn Karate, but Dad insists I do Boxing instead: He says I have natural disposition for it...

Boxing Trainer: 'And watch out for this fella. He has a huge Left Hook.'

"You'll come? Great." "The Hendersons will be too." "We'll kill them at poker." "Phil and Edna, planning a murder for later that night."

Certificate for 98.4% accurasy.

Ventriloquist's fete

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

'This course is a great ego builder.'

"Let's go, this is definitely a manicured lawn: we won't find clover or dandelions here..."

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

"...And then beyond the lawn, a lily pool with fountains and..."

"Got anything that will expire before I do?"

"I never go anywhere unprepared!"

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

"I'm desperate, John. Please lend me your lawnmower."

'He has a great left hook,'