Pruning Perfectionist Gifts

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

"It's called being preemptive."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Garden Art

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

"First time pruning?"

Bullseye!

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

Surreal ale

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'In,' 'Out' and 'Organize.'

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

Deadlines, Inc.

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

"I think deep down he's really pleased the union has a female head for the first time..."

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

Quality Contorl.

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

"You'll come? Great." "The Hendersons will be too." "We'll kill them at poker." "Phil and Edna, planning a murder for later that night."

I would love to learn Karate, but Dad insists I do Boxing instead: He says I have natural disposition for it...

"It needs a lot of editing."

Ventriloquist's fete

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."