Provocative Storytellers Gifts

"Dad, my web toon characters can't be normal! They have to be stereotyped crazies who are totally abnormal!"

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

Pastries and Candy

Home Sweet Home

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'Are we there yet?'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'He was a great writer'

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

Jorge Luis Borges

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

I just made up that part. It should really throw people for a loop if they find this place thousands of years from now!

BOOKS ON VIDEO/BOOKS ON TAPE/READ YOUR OWN.

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

'Tell me about your gap year, Mr, Van Winkle,'

'New hope for dysfunctional couples: Read aloud the complete works of Trollope.'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

"He's been downgraded to a Category One."

David and Goliath.

'He followed me home...Can I kiss him?'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'