Proverb Fanatics Gifts

"I did turn the other cheek, but he kept hitting me on the first one!"

'I'll look for apples -- you keep an eye out for early birds.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Campaign for Plain English

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

Laughing Zone Ahead

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

When a speaker says '...to make a long story short,' you've already been there 3 hours.

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

Cold Enough to Freeze Brass Monkeys.

"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but, hang on a minute, I'm pretty sure I have the heart and stomach of a king, too..."

"Like they say, April lenders brings May spenders."

"If he who hesitates is lost, why do we have to look before we leap?"

"Don't even think about it."

"You need a mint."

Yep, that's me in a pea pod! In a pea pod�?? I think "nutshell" has been vastly overused.

'We think Rome was built at night sir, because last week you told us that Rome wasn't built in a day!'

Curiosity discovers life on Mars

'My mother always told me if it ain't broke, date it.'

Phonetic Man

See no evil, Hear No Evil, Speak no evil. . .

Let to water, wouldn't drink, kicked off farm.

Unsound

"Do you know what time they open love?"

Ernie, what's a seven-letter phrase for "sadistic behavior"? Beats me.

'The longest journey beings with a single step.' Mao would have made great congressman!

'It's always darkest just before Dawn.'

Sometimes the 'Staggers-in-at-4 AM Bird' beats the Early Bird to the worm.

At home with the pedants "It's raining small carnivorous quadrupedes" "Both feline and canine?"

"Hello, everyone. My name is Mittens, and I'm addicted to catnip."