Proverb Aficionado Gifts

I don't look like much, but I'm going to inherit the earth.

"Well, I feel some of you in this group are heavy into denial."

'Have you seen a bull?'

Chewed gum returning to a gumball machine

'Like the proverb says, the weak enemy of my strong enemy I will pretend to befriend.'

Cold Enough to Freeze Brass Monkeys.

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Why we need poetry. . .

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Driverless cars rage.

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'