Protocol Guru Gifts

Jump, then wait. Only when she asks may you grab the Queen by the ankles.

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

Robots In The Boardroom

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

The Modern Novel.

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

Salesman I-Pad Business Card

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

"When you say you're behind me 100%, do you mean base ten or binary?"

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

Crocodile Selfie

"I'm Kurt... this brochure will explain the rest."

Windows or Mac?

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'I saw it as a networking opportunity.'

Corp H.Q. In the corporate world, do you it's what you know or who you know? Neither, it's what you know about who.

'Don't be nervous but I think we're about to go LIVE on the new system.'

'Have your people facebook my people.'

'Console 3GMEGA3D plus 3K+SUPERAUDIO USB 35,000.000 MGB...'

"What? More deliveries? Man, I never should have leased out my cloud for data storage."

My First Bitcoin.

Of course we're faster and more powerful now. I just think we commanded more respect when we filled an entire room.

"Is that you talking or Wikipedia?"

"Yes, binary is really kicking in."

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

Bureaucraze...

Developing links within business.

Old MacDonald had a data farm. AI AI O.

'From here I can monitor world stocks, or attend overseas teleconferences, unfortunately I can't get out though because the door's stuck.'

"The results of your last project are back and it appears the app you created makes you obsolete."