Protocol Aficionado Gifts

'I don't think the chief would approve of us ordering donuts from the parking lot like this.'

Bureaucrats at Work

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

She required plenty of personal space.

Twister:Rural Social Networking

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Decontamination

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

Complaints departement for men and women.

"That news you're reading is 24 hours old. I can get it 23 hours and 57 minutes sooner online."

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"OK Hunter. Go join the 'non-verbal criticism skills' seminar!"

"When you put it like that, it makes complete sense."

Wifi Peacock

'Your Honor, we find the defendant rich, famous and not guilty.'

"If you want to know why I fired you, you can subscribe to my blog."

Judge

"No Nobel Prize in economics fro crypto, again."

'I have a big inferiority complex. I don't have a website.'

'You can't arrest me -- I gave my power of attorney to another guy!'

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'