Protocol Enthusiast Gifts

'Not everyone is comfortable with slashing planning bureaucracy.'

Campaign for Plain English

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"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

She - Interpreter - He.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Ruddy bloggers!

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

The Love Psychologists

They had a tendency to talk past one another.

Before social media there was sticky notes.

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

'I was just ringing to see if you'd got the email about my letter.'

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

Technological advances within the office.

Relationship Issues.

'We had seven gloriously happy years together, and then he learned how to talk.'

"I've never seen a resume that's entirely made up of emojis. Let me take a few moments to decode it."

'He says he needs his own space.'

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."