Protocol Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Not everyone is comfortable with slashing planning bureaucracy.'

Campaign for Plain English

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"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

She - Interpreter - He.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Ruddy bloggers!

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

The Love Psychologists

They had a tendency to talk past one another.

Before social media there was sticky notes.

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

'I was just ringing to see if you'd got the email about my letter.'

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

Technological advances within the office.

Relationship Issues.

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

"We don't talk."

'We had seven gloriously happy years together, and then he learned how to talk.'

'He says he needs his own space.'

"I've never seen a resume that's entirely made up of emojis. Let me take a few moments to decode it."