Protocol Practitioner T-Shirts

"Your fifteen minutes are up. Next time, raise your hand before asking questions."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

Decontamination

'A willingness to sacrifice yourself to bring 'peace and succor to the suffering' is all very well Mother Theresa but I don't think it makes up for your lack of knowledge of current hand sanitisation protocols.'

'We're to spend more time engaging with patients on a more compassionate 'human' level...and here are the guidelines on how to do it!'

Moses does a Life jacket demo

"People are always saying how stupid it is that the bst practitioners are always promoted and make poor managers....but I think that's complete rubbish...He was a lousy practitioner as well!"

Skills and experience held back by bureaucracy and protocols.

'You can't come into the clean room looking like that.'

It makes me MAD when people think we've nothing better to do than churn out pointless protocols...

Skills and experience being dragged down by bureaucracy and protocols.

"...Now all we need is a product!"

"Oi you. . . down the back. . . sit still and watch this video on the dangers of sitting still."

'.....DOOR!'

Being a stickler for rules, Howard refuses to act until his motion has been seconded.

"No, Billy, just because I don't have my own website does not mean I'm a quack!"

"We want to give staff the opportunity to use their own discretion in decision making, and this is how we want them to do it!"

Mister Pickle

Tape-to-go: Suppliers of red tape

'That should help employees remember the safety rules!'

"It's part of the new patient feedback protocol."

'Not everyone is comfortable with slashing planning bureaucracy.'

'Shame...for a nurse she has the right experience, she's obviously caring and committed, but she was let down by her understanding of door handle sanitisation management protocols.'

'I'm your new protocol officer.'

'I tried shooing. What's our policy on swatting?'

Bureaucrats at Work

'I hope all your chefs have been practising their knife safety skills!'

In Case of Emergency Break Glass.

Jump, then wait. Only when she asks may you grab the Queen by the ankles.