Protocol Perfectionist Gifts

'You can't come into the clean room looking like that.'

'I tried shooing. What's our policy on swatting?'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Correct Approach

"I love your enthusiasm for health and safety but enough is enough!"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

Man and woman buying furniture.

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

"Our proposal didn't get the grant, but they want us to teach proposal writing."

"Office of quality assurance"

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

"Or should it be scrum or kanban???"

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

"I propose we go with the second option."

We thought we'd put in the detail later.

"Right here is where you lost the narrative flow."

Kate had originally been very enthusiastic to prepare the annual global audit plan.

"Good morning - your neighbours have asked me to come and tune your piano."

"It's 'She's driving me crazy and I'm not sure whom to turn to.' "

'We're to spend more time engaging with patients on a more compassionate 'human' level...and here are the guidelines on how to do it!'

'Looks good. Let me run it past the number-crunchers.'

Office of Strategic Scenarios: 'Best case...Worst case.'

"Page 33, line 4..."

Communikations Semminar.

'I have a plan 'B', but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.