Programming Perfectionist Gifts

"There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

"Install that, then uninstall that. Open that, then close that. Update that, then delete that. Run that program, then end that program..."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Worry tank

Bullseye!

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"I think you might need to start again."

D.I.Y

"We find it as long as you manage the inputs, the outputs will look after themselves."

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

'The project is a little behind schedule. It was proactive, now it's retroactive.'

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Man and woman buying furniture.

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

"Well, I've finished the project on time and on budget!" "That means I've given you too much time and too much money!"

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Perfection

"Installed it himself ??" saved $50."

"I'm afriad we had to cancel the 'perfect planning ' seminar. We forgot to book the hotel until it was to late and the speaker we hoped to use died in 1958."

"Or should it be scrum or kanban???"

'Daft title. How could you have 'backward' planning?'

'Regarding our deadline - have we moved to long-range planning or still stuck in short-term excuses?'

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"I propose we go with the second option."

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."