Process Guru Gifts

Bureaucraze...

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Here and There Trays

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Robots In The Boardroom

Homo Gamus

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"My best managerial trait is that I dig for answers until I get them between my teeth. My worst trait is that sometimes I bury them."

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

The Modern Novel.

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

Office worker pushing a pile of papers on trolley.

Whack-a-molecule

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

Whack-a-mole CEO.

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

Why do you need so many computers?

Your computer has every alert, alarm and reminder possible...enough with the sticky notes!!!

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'