Algorithm Guru Gifts

'The boss wants me to create a computer algorithm that can convert hindsight into foresight.'

Robots In The Boardroom

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

The Modern Novel.

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

Minority Report

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

Early Programmers.

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

"When you say you're behind me 100%, do you mean base ten or binary?"

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

Crocodile Selfie

Windows or Mac?

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

'How did you arrive at this price?' - 'Our computer has a new random generator.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

Jim unwittingly wanders into a rough section of the Computer Science department.

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

"Making us more mobile friendly didn't mean letting the general public use our car park, Smithers."

"What? More deliveries? Man, I never should have leased out my cloud for data storage."

'Don't be nervous but I think we're about to go LIVE on the new system.'

Hidden Facebook Features

Of course we're faster and more powerful now. I just think we commanded more respect when we filled an entire room.

"Yes, binary is really kicking in."

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

'Console 3GMEGA3D plus 3K+SUPERAUDIO USB 35,000.000 MGB...'

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

Bureaucraze...