Protein Planner Gifts

"More protein? How about some veggies once in a while?"

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'Like death by salad.'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

ACME Balloon Company.

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

'More homes and wind turbines planned.'

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'What a control freak!'

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

'He refuses to overeat and get plump. Do you think he knows something we don't?'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

Remain calm, we need to talk. We don't want to alarm you. Run for your life! Oh boy. The economic news is not good. It's apocalyptic. We both lived through the depression. More like barely survived. We're seeing parallels -- lack of government investment, no-tax policies ... Fire, disease, bad cellphone coverage ... You're enjoying this too much. you said I could. Spend cautiously, Rudy. Have a back-up plan. Sell your gadgets, buy canned goods. Oh boy.

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'That's our group plan.'

Hi! You want to, like, hang out? Sure. When are you free? Twig! Time to pack. We're leaving!! In about a year? It's on my iCal.

"In keeping with my promise to spread the wealth, I'm giving you all a bigger piece of the pie."

Piggy bank...cash cow.

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

'Of course, this plan requires that you all work for free.'

"What'll I eat, when you, are far away, and I am blue, what'll I eat?"

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'