Pack Planner Gifts

'No, Friday is not good for me, sorry. Boy, hunting in a pack is such a logistical nightmare...'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Babies.

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

'More homes and wind turbines planned.'

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

'What a control freak!'

"This grade doesn't fit into my five-year plan!"

Praying for a goal assist.

'... I'll take the handoff to the tailback, then give the ball to my stunt double here, and he will dive head-first into the end zone.'

Wanting his picnic with Gwen to be perfect, Hal made sure they would not be bothered by ants.

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

'...plus, an annual molting leave!'

'What can you suggest for a young lady who thinks she has everything?'

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'To err is human. To really screw up requires a plan.'

Saving up for a rainy day.

'To make a long story short, your biological clock has jet lag.'

"More protein? How about some veggies once in a while?"

'Their offense is shifty and often ruthless. I want you to study the videotapes - especially this one showing their quarterback robbing a convenience store at gunpoint.'

'Smart bloke.'

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

'It's getting harder and harder to find good hiding places for the wife's Birthday presents.'

Battery life time

'I always carry my hammer, incase we're shipwrecked, and I need it to crack coconuts.'

OK, great! So, we re-brand Crackerjack for a new generation and call it 'The C Word'.

Gracie cuts the bottom branches off the Christmas tree to make room for presents.

"Yes, I do all my shopping online. How did you know?"

"Gracie, we've sitting here all day planning our first week of summer fun."

Airport Security. It takes longer getting through security, but by wearing all my clothes, I don't have to pay to check a bag!

No caption. (Baby decides which bottle to choose from a rack in a basement. The rack looks very much like a wine rack.)