Product Planner Gifts

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

"We only got six days of funding."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

God's Subcontractors

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

ACME Balloon Company.

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

Innovation & Calculation

Babies.

Cindy's imaginary friend has the day off so the agency send over a temp to fill in.

Waiting for retirement.

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

Monday around 9PM.

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

Engineer on the move.

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

You know, if you made it with a sphere, it wouldn't need a railing. Plan.