Productivity Planner Gifts

'My next move is to figure out my next move.'

'Hold on a minute. I have another call on this line, which might be more productive.'

'Hmmm, come to think of it, you're right: Productivity is always low in Winter...'

Our Productivity Plan: More Coffee

"Make it quick Carl, I've gotta 'be present' in about text minutes."

Monday around 9PM.

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Interruption Time Management

"And last but not least, organizational psychologist Ron Haynes, who limits my switching of guitars to at least every other song."

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Pipe Dream.

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

"Three more years of high school."

Time Is Money

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

God's Subcontractors

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

ACME Balloon Company.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'We need to have a shake-up!'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'