Profit Planner Gifts

'Of course, this plan requires that you all work for free.'

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

'We haven't posted a profit in 15 years. I suggest we re-think our concept.'

'These were from my early 'Corporate Period'.'

ACME Balloon Company.

"We thought we'd put in the details later."

Piggy bank...cash cow.

Success is buying your experience cheap . . . and selling at a profit.

"Dad said they'd sell like hotcakes, but they're selling like vegetables."

"In keeping with my promise to spread the wealth, I'm giving you all a bigger piece of the pie."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Pipe Dream.

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"Three more years of high school."

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"