Wealth Planner Gifts

'Congratulations, Mr. Blesdoe. You are now a member of the 'haves'.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Will work for ETFs

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

European currency on the edge.

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Day trading.

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

Graph Your Relatives!

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

ACME Balloon Company.

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'